PRETENSIONS OF YOUTH

Ethel and Peg, as they lay claim to pensions,
developed a penchant for youthful pretensions.
Bright, shiny zimmers from recycled cans,
they thought fit for mutton and they were both lambs.

Finding it difficult getting around,
A scooter and sidecar would have to be found.
One that could break the 8 mile per hour limit,
With customised coachwork and radio in it.

Small furry pendant and age concern flag,
Trimmed back and streamlined to minimise drag,
Would fly from the ariel in the ascendant,
Signalling pensioners, still independent.

Then matching leathers with helmets and gloves,
Maybe a tattoo, the kind Ethel loves.
Boots to the knee, they must be orthopaedic
And defibrillator, in case they should need it.

Off to the club, where the elders play bingo,
Called by a Major who'd mastered the lingo,
They brought about havoc by just being there,
When everyone saw their electric blue hair.

Loving their mischief, they made for the train
And left for the coast where the sun shone again.
Folk on the beach left their lunch and turned green,
When they saw our girls' swimsuits with no 'in between'.

Laughing and giggling, now back in the city,
They thought, in a while , spinsterhood was a pity,
So off they both went with romance on their mind,
With a plan for a millionaire partner to find.

When they discovered these chaps wanted youth,
They finally had to face up to the truth.
So Peg said, "I s'pose we are past it our Ethel,"
And she said, "You're right dear, I'll put on the kettle!"